My reflection shortly after losing Junah on March 4, 2013

Junah using Bart as a pillow...typical.

My Junah...Loyalty and Love

Is there a way to gracefully lose a pet?  Is there a graceful way to die?  Is it called dignity instead?  All of these questions pelted my brain as I was faced with the ultimate decision for a pet owner: when to euthanize.

I’ve heard everything from: “He will tell you when it is time” to “This is your ultimate test of loyalty and love.”  And, while I tend to hope for truth in the second (because he was telling me nothing, as his top/front half was fine), I am still at a loss.

If I am honest with myself, this day had been in the making for well over ten years.  Junah, my beautiful, beloved Great Dane, would have been eleven on March 27, 2013.  My family tried to warn my significant others over the years that if they were around when he passed, that I might not recover fully.  We all knew.  Junah is the only dog I got as a puppy; he bonded with me almost from the first moment we met, and remained that way until the last beat of his heart.  Our loyalty to each other was unparalleled.  He moved different places with me while I tried to “find myself.”  We went across the United States (from Michigan to Arizona), and back again.  While training for a marathon, he was my running buddy in the wee hours of the morning (seven miles was the most he put in, as it was usually light by that time-who needs mace when you have a Great Dane?).  He’d been to most of my friends’ homes, my places of employment, dog festivals, dog parks, hiking trails; you name it, he was there. 

Junah was the type of dog, who when going for a walk, came close to causing numerous car accidents because of gawkers.  While not the tallest Great Dane in the world, he was regal and stunning in stature.  I was proud to be his human momma.  If I am truly reflective, a lot of what I have done in the past ten years has been for Junah.  I would not move to a place not Great Dane friendly.  I would not go places he wasn’t allowed.  I hurried home to be with him (and my other dogs) instead of going out with friends or co-workers.  And…I don’t regret a moment of it.  People say that they saw the love and loyalty between us when they saw us together- in person or in pictures.  I trusted him completely; and I always felt safe with him around. 

The last four nights his heart beat, I slept on the floor next to him.  Due to nerve damage, he could no longer use his back end.  And, even with constant flipping to prevent pressure sores, he still got them.  It was the sores that finally made the decision for me.  I tried to find a wheelchair for him.  Money, when it came to Junah, was no object- just as it had not been when I paid $5000 for his surgery after his stomach bloated and he got contortion.  However, the sores beat me to it.  Once the bone was exposed there was nothing I could do…and it happened so fast.

My gentle giant left this world with his head in my lap, and surrounded by seven of his favorite humans, and his favorite “thunder buddy” of a dog brother.  I cannot promote home euthanasia enough, as I do believe that Junah passed peacefully, with dignity, and love. 

His ashes arrive this week, and part of them will be placed in a necklace for me to wear.  Not only will his memories travel with me everywhere I go, but part of his body as well.

I love and miss you, Junah Miller.  Rest in Peace my Gentle Giant…until we meet again. March 27, 2002- March 4, 2013

My best friend in his last days...

We love car rides!

Mom, are you getting off the computer soon?

Junah left, Laina right...7+ foot couch.